We often act as if we dropped out of our mother’s womb with our current positions on things like racism, sexism, or the environment, but our positions have been shaped and informed by our life experiences, the information we’ve consumed, and the people around us.
We sometimes respond in social media as if we believe one well-phrased argument will change someone’s mind, as if logic alone can lead someone out of a seemingly intractable position. This strange belief actually makes some sense. As humans we like to think we are ruled by logic, that we’re virtuous, smart, and the hero of our own story. Thus, if someone makes a good argument, we can and will change our mind.
However, research shows that’s not how it works. For any of us. That doesn’t mean we’re bad or stupid, merely that we’re … human. People rarely change their beliefs in an instant. Even if the change appears to be instantaneous to you, there was a lot going on under the surface that softened the person’s grip on their previous position.
Calling someone racist or sexist or homophobic or transphobic is usually not helpful to the process of change at all. Be kind. Make your case without demeaning anyone. Know that this process of change is complicated, could possibly take a long time, and may involve far more changes than you realize.
Plant a seed. And nurture that seed with love.
Joni Miller is a writer, researcher, coach, and speaker who uses her knowledge, education, and love of all things spiritual to help others find their unique spiritual path. www.SpiritualGeography.net
Ep 15: Helping People Change Their Minds