We humans are programmed to resist changing our mind. People tense up when faced with cognitive dissonance, the psychological conflict that arises when new beliefs conflict with existing beliefs. Our brains want to bring us back to equilibrium so our beautiful brains seek out cognitive distortions to keep our world secure. Our physical reaction is the first step to awareness that our brain may not be responding logically and may be seeking out distorted reasoning. Pay attention to your body. If you feel that tension, take a breath and consciously relax. That helps bring your brain back on board.
Then listen to how you talk, or how you want to talk about what you just heard. There are numerous cognitive distortions our brain uses to try to come back into alignment with what we originally believed. These cognitive distortions don’t help someone understand issues or understand people with whom they disagree. They don’t help build bridges or strengthen relationships. These kinds of cognitive distortions only hurt me and you and the fellow citizens of this planet.
We can embrace our cognitive dissonance by trying to shut down our brain’s cognitive distortion automatic responses, allowing us to be more open to thoughts, ideas, and values that are foreign to us.
If you look for similarities with other human beings, you will find them. We can create more love in the world by listening to other people’s perspectives and not automatically finding fault with them.
Joni Miller is a writer, researcher, coach, and speaker who uses her knowledge, education, and love of all things spiritual to help others find their unique spiritual path. www.SpiritualGeography.net
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