At the start of every year many of us make resolutions. These resolutions usually involve us doing something: improving our waistlines, increasing our physical activity, or enhancing our financial situation. However, resolving to improve our emotional state might be the best resolution we can make. And that helps us with every other kind of resolution we could make.
We often think that achieving goals will improve our emotional state. And it does … momentarily. Then our habitual emotional state takes over and we end up feeling the same way we usually feel.
There are ways to gain peace and happiness that aren’t dependent on goals. You have more control over how you feel than you may think, which I find incredibly empowering.
It’s a strange contradiction: we think our circumstances create the emotions we feel. Instead, it’s how we respond to our circumstances that creates our feelings. No one’s life is perfect, but some people are more resilient and happier than others. You can feel the way you want to feel before your circumstances change. And you can minimize the negative feelings that come after something bad happens by finding gratitude.
The podcast episode contains my most profound example of where I used gratitude to get into a better emotional state. But I do this every day. Slowing down and finding things for which to be grateful is a powerful practice. Writing your gratitude statements can make the practice even more powerful, but I don’t have the patience for that. Instead, I consciously express gratitude at least twice a day - at breakfast and at bedtime.
Gratitude doesn’t require ignoring your hard feelings, merely that you find something for which to be grateful alongside the difficulties you may be going through.
Finding gratitude for what you already have doesn’t mean you won’t have a desire for self-improvement. After recovering from an injury a few months ago, I’m grateful when I can walk down stairs relatively easily. That gratitude - noticing how my body has improved - only makes me want to get stronger. Gratitude helps me remember to continue my physical therapy exercises, and helps me go for a walk even when I don’t feel like it.
Find gratitude. Every day. Start with gratitude for who you already are and what you already have. For as much as you want to improve, I’m guessing there’s already a lot wonderful about you and your life right now.
Practicing gratitude can be the best self-improvement resolution you can make.
Joni Miller is a writer, researcher, spiritual coach, and speaker who uses her knowledge, education, and love of all things spiritual to help others find their unique spiritual path. www.SpiritualGeography.net
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