I carry with me the memory of realizing the Church I grew up in did not love me. I was very involved in my Church as a young person. I served at the District and Conference level and my Grandmother taught me how important service to my community was, which I knew included service to my Church family as well. At a state annual conference in the early 90's they were debating how LGBT people should be treated in our Church. Someone told a gay joke from the floor and the bishop laughed. I knew at that moment that everything I believed about the Church did not include me.
I was so disheartened and lost. I spent an entire day on a mountain top praying and asking God "What now?" Nothing made sense. It was a moment when I considered walking away from religion entirely. Finally I came to realize, God urged me, a still small voice (it was not a lightning bolt or grand revelation!) that religion and God often have little to do with each other and I needed to keep my eyes upward and not on human institutions.
I eventually found a new Church community in another denomination. There have still been moments where I have to remind myself to ignore the institution, but for 30 years I had a community that loved and accepted me. We recently moved from that area and are now "tiptoeing" into a new community, but regardless, I know I found the solid ground to stand on.
Jeff, so many have walked away from religion and yet you waited, listened, and heard that still, small voice and found solid ground. Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
I carry with me the memory of realizing the Church I grew up in did not love me. I was very involved in my Church as a young person. I served at the District and Conference level and my Grandmother taught me how important service to my community was, which I knew included service to my Church family as well. At a state annual conference in the early 90's they were debating how LGBT people should be treated in our Church. Someone told a gay joke from the floor and the bishop laughed. I knew at that moment that everything I believed about the Church did not include me.
I was so disheartened and lost. I spent an entire day on a mountain top praying and asking God "What now?" Nothing made sense. It was a moment when I considered walking away from religion entirely. Finally I came to realize, God urged me, a still small voice (it was not a lightning bolt or grand revelation!) that religion and God often have little to do with each other and I needed to keep my eyes upward and not on human institutions.
I eventually found a new Church community in another denomination. There have still been moments where I have to remind myself to ignore the institution, but for 30 years I had a community that loved and accepted me. We recently moved from that area and are now "tiptoeing" into a new community, but regardless, I know I found the solid ground to stand on.
Jeff, so many have walked away from religion and yet you waited, listened, and heard that still, small voice and found solid ground. Such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.